So when we first moved into our place here in Ewa Beach and we were busy renovating and hooking up services, I stumbled upon a beautiful discovery. It all happened during a phone call to the refuse department. You see I wanted to make sure, that along with water, electricity and cable, that our trash would also be whisked away in a timely manner. So I was on the phone with the nice lady from City and County of Honolulu, asking about transferring services to our name when she said the funniest thing.
"So there's not a can there?"
I said, "Well yes there is a can here-"
"Then use it," she interrupted.
I said, "Well, I just wanted to transfer the service and fee to our name."
She laughed and replied a little sarcastically, "There is no fee. Trash and recycling is free of charge. It's fairly simple, you just put the can out in the road."
Now to say I heard angels singing, would not be an understatement. Here in paradise where everything costs about four and a half times more than it does back in the mainland I was a little shocked to discover that this particular service was provided to the entire community, free of charge. How can this be? I was expecting upwards of about $80 bucks a month, considering the last time we lived in Cali, about 15 years ago we were paying $60 bucks a month for trash, and what with inflation and this being Hawaii, well lets just say that maybe I'm still hearing those angels sing.
But wait, there's more. Once a month there is a bulky item pickup as well. Also free. Where you can leave all matter of large trash items, appliances, old beds, the entire contents of evicted tenants apartments, on the side of the road for... not so speedy removal. And I guess you could say, maybe some people don't really know when the trucks will be by to pick up said trash, and maybe those ginormous piles hang out for upwards of two weeks, just waiting.
But hey, to a compulsive purger like myself, I only see it as a positive. As I drive by the piles of trash, I can only think to myself, "Good for you, getting rid of all that crap."
The annoying thing is when you discover old sofas, or other bags of trash deposited in the shrubbery of Hau Bush, or a giant discarded pool table on the isolated road out to Iroquois Point.
Why would someone drive these things out into the middle of nowhere where they will not be picked up instead of leaving them on their street or better yet dropping them off at the dump, which is also free? Lame.
But idiots aside, free trash is pretty awesome.
I think it may be in part because Hawaii burns it's trash to create our energy. Yeah, we dump tons of diesel fuel on it and bam! Overpriced electricity. Wait a minute. Maybe our free trash isn't so free after all.
There I go again. Damn it.